How Do You Know You’re In Love?

My ever stylish friend asked me, ” Hey, when did you fall in love?

It took me by surprise especially since I only just arrived and barely warmed my seat.

I paused for a bit, pondering.

He explained that it was for a research he’s doing. He was told to write about love and he felt it only made sense to ask his friends of all ages since he never fell in love before.

I actually found that rather hard to believe but hey who am I to question.

My past came flooding through my head as I searched for that moment when I knew I was in love. The high school crush, the boy in college, the first boy who broke my heart, the one who was perfect but at last distance was not on our side, the bad boy who offered me a lollipop because he couldn’t bear to see me cry, the one who wanted to protect me from harm, the one who gave his everything and so on and so forth.

So I dated all sort and had a few relationships but it was hard to answer the question.

Noticing my silence, he rephrased the question and asked instead, ” How did you know you were struck by Cupid?”

I can’t just tell him,”you know it because you do”, nor can I say, “it’s a feeling”. It’s too simple and love is anything but simple.

Love is an explosion, fireworks, your heart racing, couple of sleepless nights, giggly moments, laughter, passion, emotions, movements, smiles, warm, fuzzy, missing the other like crazy, being silly and lots of fun.

In the end I told him that I was introduced to love at different stages in my life. The first was during my Ministry years when there was an immediate attraction, this connection and draw to the other person and some unexplainable magic and chemistry that permitted two individuals to share not one but a few dreams together.

The second, when I felt like a giggly lovesick puppy, terribly bashful and when I heard myself saying, “He existed after all”.

After all that, I paused again. It wasn’t even hard to describe it. Only one word. One word to describe how one knows when they are in love.

That word is, “Alive”.

You know you’re in love when you feel alive and I said that with a dreamy face and a smile on my lips.

Immediately he got excited and said he knew how to write his piece and had enough juices to get him going to end it well too.

After my Birkin loving friend and I went our separate ways, I started reflecting and all the boys and men came into my head. Indeed I’ve been lucky. Very lucky as a matter of fact to have them love me while I only returned a few.

I told 2 important men in my past how much they meant to me still and how love will always be there, though no longer the same.

I told my present guy that among all people to set us up, it had to be the girl with the big heart, Nina, and of course her dear friend, Tia too, who was supportive about the whole thing from the start. If anything, I’m very glad they did because it was a huge blessing and I did say “yes” after all.

Third quarter was it D?

2012

It’s the 2012!

Good God!

2011 was a year of tears, laughter, heart aches, understanding, growing, second chances, new found love and many more.

I left my job as a diplomat to become a business woman. I closed a few chapters and began a new one with someone else. I battled through a lot of obstacles and though I didn’t win all, I still came out fine.

All in all, it was an eventful one and a year to remember =)

Fleur’s Launch – 1 day more *eeps*

One day more…EEPS!

MY SPEECH!

ARGH!!!!!

 

Patience

I would like to not be frustrated by certain human behavior……. if that is at all possible.

Now it usually takes quite a lot for one person to make me blow my top however some people are simply unreasonable.

Besides the unreasonable ones, I don’t understand why some people can’t come to me directly to raise their concerns instead of going through a third party. Like HELLO! When you don’t raise the matter with me how am I suppose to assist? Also by acting on whims, going through a third party and acting like a child ain’t doing you any favour. I would so love to think you’re completely unreasonable and childish but hang on there, you are a child!  AND I’ve mentioned “child” (excluding this one) THREE times!  Therefore, since I’m still your senior by 7 years and should know better, its better for me to not take it out on you and simply shrug and say,”Hey, she’s only a kid. She’s still growing up and will get it one day“.

I understand that when words are given to carry out a certain task, any form of delay would simply irk anyone. However, one should be able to differentiate, “promises” and a sentence that was said to carry out a certain action hopefully within a certain time frame. Sigh!

Honestly, I need patience. I probably need more than patience to deal with people.

 

To Judge

A good reminder for everyone, including myself;

” Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who YOU are”.

Like D said, nobody changes who they are, they just evolve. Judging someone is only natural but in the future, if you ever do judge, think first before saying anything only because you feel like it. You may end up hurting someone but you will only end up hurting yourself more. Directly and indirectly.

Chances

Chances.Opportunities.

At some point in our live, we either give or were given the above to make a change, to do things differently, to give or be given the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, chances and opportunities do have an expiry date too. But just because it expired with one person, it doesn’t mean that chances and opportunities can’t be given by others.

Personally, the only one I believe who will never give up on you is the man up there. I am not religious but its true. If you don’t believe in God, well let’s just say then that life is pretty fair and understanding as long as you’re grateful.

We make mistakes. We sin. We are not perfect. We regret. We learn. Hence we can still make changes in our life but more importantly, to be given the chance , the support and assistance, the understanding needed to make that change.

No one is perfect. People will always do something for a reason. Instead of jumping on them, be human, use that rationality of yours, and give them the benefit of the doubt. Everybody wants answers and the only way to get it…….well, don’t “kill” the person first otherwise the answer will never come.

Known

Those who know me well will know that I am one who isn’t comfortable with any form of lime light.

Sure I am privileged but I prefer to have to low profile life than the glamorous lifestyle where one is featured in magazines etc.

Now some of you may say “bah humbug” and roll your eyes but I ain’t kidding.

I am one who’s more comfortable taking pictures with friends when we are out on trips but the minute someone tells me to “pose for the camera now”…. I go “eek”. I tried to avoid having my pictures taken recently for some media but at last, I did not succeed. However, I am thankful that it wasn’t my face on the paper recently but one of my girls.

If you were to ask why wouldn’t I want any form of publicity, why wouldn’t I want to have my face on some magazine, well honestly, I don’t hate it but I feel extremely exposed. Recently an offer was made and sure I was dumbfounded, pleasantly surprised, but that “eek” came out too. It would be silly to turn it down and say no especially since the business will need the exposure so I agreed to it. Whether it would materialise is now another matter. If anything, what sunk it after that offer was that I would have more of “these” coming my way.

Ever since that day, I asked myself if I will ever be ready for that sort of attention, exposure, the camera, the talks, the interviews…..I really don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready but when the time comes for me to cross that bridge, I will have to cross it, preparing myself for a surprised attack by trolls just in case.

 

Summary

*BREATHES IN*……

I started another FB page, had a two day media workshop, CURRENTLY preparing for IFF, lost it with the Dragon Lady, trying to sort the office matter out due to some reshuffling, trying to juggle friends, love life and work, handling the flagship and staffs emotional well being, doing my best to ensure that payment is made without further delay, trying to deliver what needs to be delivered, constantly following up on adverts etc ……….

I swear I’m stretched….from work…….and my mother especially!

Can I say….I QUIT?!

Stage 2

Stage 2 can only mean Stage 3 after this.

After Stage 1, Stage 2 came really quickly too all thanks to the Dragon Master. Of course, since he wanted to be spared the lashing of the tongue, he decided to tell a different tale to the Dragon Lady by saying that he was ambushed and it was only right to be polite. *Shakes head*. Typical father but then again, I knew he would do exactly that.

So Dragon Lady ain’t very please but I’m sure she will come around to it.

Dragon Master couldn’t help but tease me and gave a little wink and smile when the Dragon Lady ain’t looking.

Great..

My father….

Playing the dual role…

Who would have thought…..

So anyway, Dragon Lady was making it an issue and I told her, “Ma, focus…..you have a son to think about and a daughter who’s all the way in London, I am like the least of your worries….also…there’s no issue here so why create ONE?“.

Yes, I did say that and don’t worry, I smiled. I even laughed after and she kept mum while my dad maintained his twinkling eye and smile the whole time.

Ah parents.

What happens next?

I don’t know but it will work out..

Stage 1 – DONE!

You know how you plan your day ahead, envisioning everything to fall into place perfectly, believing that it will? Well it did!

A while ago, I told the Dragon Master that a certain beau was interested in making a courtesy call and the Dragon Master laughed.

We talked about it on and off and one day out of the blue, he said he was willing to meet the poor fella. However, the dates he proposed were not possible because I was away for work.

Upon my return, the poor beau and I were talking about Stage 1 once again and I agreed with him, we needed it done and out of the way. The sooner the better.

I woke up today, visualizing how my day was going to be and the meeting between the Dragon Master and the fella was also a part of it.

Well it happened.

It was a little awkward at first but it ended pretty well with the Dragon Master telling him to take care of me and don’t send me home too late.

If there’s anything I am grateful for today, I am especially grateful that my father was a good enough sport!

Now…..stage 2!